Peter Pan The COOL Kid Who Never grew Up
by Isaviel
Summary: This is a pantomime I actually wrote to be performed by teachers and students at my school. So some of the main characters like Tinkerbell and Hook you have to imagine being played by one of your teachers at school- the more riduculous the better. Basical
1. Default Chapter

Character list:  
Peter Pan  
Lost boys: Smith, Tommy and others  
Commentator  
Wendy Darling  
John Darling  
Michael Darling  
Stan and Ernie- knight Bus drivers from Harry Potter  
Bob the Builder  
Captain Hook  
Smee  
Pirates  
Tiger Lily  
Pirate ghost  
Crocodile  
Harry Potter  
Indians  
  
Scene 1  
  
Peter Pan, the lost boys and the pirates are having a very competitive  
football match. It's the final of the Neverland World Cup and the current  
score is Lost boys: 6, Pirates: 4.  
  
Peter: Will you get in front of the goal, Tommy.  
Tommy: But then the ball will hit me.  
Peter: That's the idea. You're the goalkeeper!  
Commentator: Jordan's coming up with the ball. He dodges Smith and streaks  
past Matt, the best players, except Peter of course. He's coming up to the  
goal. Will he score? NO! It bounces of the post-straight back to him. Hang  
on, what is he doing? I don't believe it. Yes folks Jordan has picked up  
the ball and is planning to throw it into the goal. PETER CALL A FOUL! Here  
he goes. And he misses again. He's thrown it far too high. As I speak the  
ball is pelting down to London.  
[The commentator looks down his binoculars.]  
There it goes.  
Peter: [angrily] Oh well done Jordan. I suppose I'm going to have to go and  
get it now.  
[Peter storms off. The lost boys follow, two of them carrying goal posts.] 


	2. Scene 2

Scene 2  
  
Peter walks into the Darling's back garden. He finds his football behind a  
bush next to Nana the dog. Nana, startled by Peter, starts to howl. Wendy  
Darling comes to the window.  
  
Wendy: NANA! Will you be quiet!  
[Suddenly she sees Peter]  
Who are you?  
[She comes running into the garden]  
Peter: I'm Peter Pan.  
Wendy: Yeah right  
Peter: No really, I am  
Wendy: Okay then. How many lost boys are there?  
Peter: Eight  
Wendy: Correct. What is Peter Pan's favourite colour and why?  
Peter: Well that's easy. Blue of course. Because it's the colour of the  
sky.  
Wendy: You must be Peter Pan, but you look so different!  
Peter: Fashion changes a lot.  
[John and Michael Darling appear]  
John: Who are you?  
Peter: Peter Pan  
Michael: Aren't you meant to be wearing green tights? You do in the  
storybooks.  
Peter: Oh come on- they were written ages ago. You've got to move with the  
times kid.  
Michael: Can we go to Never- Never land?  
Peter: If you want to, but we'll have to worry or we'll miss the bus.  
Wendy: Bus!  
Peter: You know those big metal things on four wheels, which take people  
places.  
Wendy: I know what a bus is. I'm not stupid. But why can't we fly?  
Peter: I got my license taken away. The Never land government didn't really  
approve of me racing with aeroplanes. They said it was too dangerous.  
Wendy: I'm not surprised. You could have been killed.  
Peter: No, not dangerous for me. Dangerous for people on the aeroplanes.  
Passengers kept fainting because they thought they saw a flying boy  
outside.  
John and Michael: Oh!  
Wendy: But how is a bus going to get us to Never-land?  
Peter: It's a magical flying bus obviously. It will be here any second now.  
Look here it comes.  
[CRASH! The bus collides with the Darling's house. Part of the wall  
collapses. Two very shaken bus drivers emerge.]  
Peter: Aren't you Stan and Ernie, the drivers of the Knight Bus in Harry  
Potter?  
Ernie: We used to drive it but we got sacked. They accused us of constantly  
falling asleep and crashing it. Can you believe that? Like we would do such  
a thing.  
[Peter glances at the wreckage behind them]  
Peter: Anyway.  
Stan: The bus should still work, best be off.  
Wendy: But what about the damage?  
Ernie: You've got insurance, haven' ya?  
Wendy: No. I'm only twelve.  
Stan: In that case, send an owl to Mr Fudge, Minister of magic. He'll pay.  
[Ernie and Stan climb back inside the bus]  
Peter: We need a builder  
Wendy: So we do  
All: BOB THE BUILDER  
[Enter Bob, holding his cat, waddling along to the theme tune of Bob the  
Builder]  
Peter: Look Bob, the bus has knocked down the wall.  
Wendy, John and Michael: BOB THE BUILDER. CAN YOU FIX IT?  
Bob: Well it's gonna cost you a couple of hundred pounds to clear the  
rubble, 'bout five hundred for a new wall. Around a thousand for steel  
supports, seven hundred for labour and frequent coffee breaks with  
biscuits, but yeah I think so.  
[Everyone is looking slightly confused]  
Peter: You've never seen the programme, have you? 


	3. Scene 3

Scene 3  
  
The lost boys and Tinkerbell are having a game of charades, when they hear  
a knock on the door.  
  
[Tinkerbell is acting out a book quite hilariously]  
Lost boy: Ooh, ooh. I know. The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers: The Ring  
goes East.  
Tinkerbell: Just The Lord of the Rings would have been fine  
[Knock on door]  
First lost boy: Hey everyone, Peter's back.  
[They all rush to the door and open it]  
All lost boys: Hi Peter  
Peter: Hey gang  
Second lost boy: [whispered] He's got a girl with him. [He points at Wendy]  
Third lost boy: [chanting] Peter's got a girlfriend, Peter's got a  
girlfriend  
All lost boys: Peter's got a girlfriend.  
Peter: Wendy is not my girlfriend. This is the first time we've seen each  
other in six years actually.  
Fourth lost boy: Who are the boys?  
Peter: John and Michael.  
Fifth lost boy: You're just in time for our disco.  
[Tinkerbell runs around the stage waving her wand. The lights go out and  
disco lights flash on. The lost boys sing Cheeky Girls song and show off  
their hysterical dance moves.]  
Wendy: [slightly dazed] Wow this is really fun. Look at all the pretty  
lights.  
Peter: You don't get out much, do you?  
Wendy: No, not really  
Peter: Right everyone into bed. It's late.  
Lost Boys: Oh Peter, don't make us  
Peter: NOW!  
[Lost boys scramble off the stage]  
Peter: So Wendy how do you like Never- land?  
Wendy: It's wonderful. Can we do something really exciting tomorrow?  
Peter: We could visit skull rock  
Michael and John: But we wanted to go to the Indian camp!  
Peter: Of course you can, go with the lost boys. I'll take Wendy to skull  
rock.  
Michael: Just the two of you.  
John: Like a date.  
Wendy: Oh you two!  
[The lights darken and the curtains go down] 


End file.
